Posts by Giles Gray

26

Can an atheist date jw?

by concernCitizen in

hey everyone!.

first of all, i'm not a jw, in fact i'm an atheist, or if you really want to be technical about it i'm probably something like an agnostic atheist or something.. but, my girlfriend is a jw, she seems very rational about it though, it seems to me that she believes in a lot of it but not exactly all, for instance she does understands and believes in the scientific age of the earth and evolution.. when we started dating almost a year ago she made it clear she as religious person.

i never saw that as a problem, it's not like i'm trying to convert her or she's trying to convert me.

Giles Gray

You are way too young for any of this.

The fact is she hasn't been upfront and honest with you so far so why is that going to change if you continue a relationship with her?

She also hasn't been considering your needs, especially from the intimate side of the relationship. Not exactly fair for a young man your age.

She's pulled in two directions and hasn't exactly gravitated towards your side. She's putting herself and the fear for her mother before you. None of these factors are a good bedrock for a budding relationship.

Guilt and fear are dictating to her now and this is not going to change in the future either, even if she is disassociated.

Oh, and if you are wise, don't show her this web site, or any other anti-JW site for that matter. It won't have the weight you think it might. It will just mean that Satan is now influencing you to break her faith. Don't even mention you have been looking on these kind of web sites.

Best of luck to you.

Edit: Have just seen that my last point has already been covered by bohm. I do apologise.

54

Complaining over post dislikes / downvotes

by Simon in

let's be clear: people have the right to like or dislike what they want - that is why the option is there.

as long as they are not doing it in a malicious way to retaliate or game the system, there is no policing the votes.

if you get a down-vote, live with it.

Giles Gray

It's not an emperors up or down thumb ("oh, kill him") or being voted off the Island

What a splendid idea...say goodbye Perry...

54

Complaining over post dislikes / downvotes

by Simon in

let's be clear: people have the right to like or dislike what they want - that is why the option is there.

as long as they are not doing it in a malicious way to retaliate or game the system, there is no policing the votes.

if you get a down-vote, live with it.

Giles Gray

Caedes-" Well I disliked everything just to keep things equal."

That's funny...

54

Complaining over post dislikes / downvotes

by Simon in

let's be clear: people have the right to like or dislike what they want - that is why the option is there.

as long as they are not doing it in a malicious way to retaliate or game the system, there is no policing the votes.

if you get a down-vote, live with it.

Giles Gray

Can't believe anybody could get so upset over something so trivial.

Alway a surprise when adults resort to childlike antics. Suppose we all do it to some extent... oh well...

12

Post votes rolled up to topics

by Simon in

just an experiment to see if it's useful or not .... the likes and dislikes for posts are now rolled up to the topic so you can see whether a topic is mostly positive or negative (or maybe a battleground?).

with some 'decay' to the votes built in this might evolve into "most vibrant topics" based on more than just the number or recency of replies (ideally all will factor in).. ps: don't worry if some topic totals are wrong right now - i need to run a job to put some of them right..

Giles Gray

The Rebel-" Why I sit through Wimbledon with her, I will never know"

Oh come on! It's once a year. Were you not even a teensy bit excited that Murray won?

16

Weekend visit from JWs.

by redvip2000 in

had a visit from the jws this week.

i've lived in this house since 2012 and this is the first time, they have reached me at home - quite the urgent work.. anyway, i was home on saturday morning and around 10am, there was a knock.

i had a feeling it would be them.

Giles Gray

DOC-" Giles, what was the subject that got you thinking?
Just curious....."

My apologies DOC. I totally missed your query to the causation of my exit.

It was such a long time ago so you'll have to forgive me for not being able to recall all the specifics.

The conversations we had were very long and deep. He was heavily into philosophy, and even though he was a young chap, he had an impressively sharp mind, able to cut straight through any religious fallacies.

The subjects that had the biggest impression on me were the relative aspect of truth and the obvious predictability of biblical prophecy.

He taught me (quite ironic really, being that we were supposed to be there teaching him) about the fact that truth is relative and that the only real 'truth' is abstract. A very powerful concept that was totally misunderstood by the hard nosed elderet, diehard pioneer sister whom I was accompanying. Her totally inappropriate response was to quote the scripture that says "your word is truth", as if it had any significance to the conversation at hand. Quite laughable and considerably embarrassing at the time.

He also deconstructed the prophecies of Revelation and Daniel that up until that time I had been very impressed with and were largely the bedrock of what little faith I had.

All I was left with was to challenge him with future prophesy. If prophesy was so obviously predictable, as he claimed and had adequately substantiated, then what did he think was going to happen next. I went onto explain the then current 'Generation' teaching with full confidence. Then came 1995.

No one likes to admit defeat but what choice did I have? I had been well and truely beaten. The rot set in...

I had already been doubting certain aspects of the religion but this chap on the doors hit at the parts of my faith that were the strongest. Nearly every JW I know walks around with similar doubts. That is why I think it is important to engage them whenever possible.

But thank you for asking.

30

Exit therapist

by Beachlover in

jw
friends

i am having quite a bit of trouble leaving and fading.

does anyone have recommendations of an exit therapist?

it doesn't matter where they are located, i need to get out physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Giles Gray

It can be a very traumatic experience. Just take one day at a time. You can't rush healing.

One day you will notice that you feel different. It's then that you'll start living.

Best of luck to you...

16

Weekend visit from JWs.

by redvip2000 in

had a visit from the jws this week.

i've lived in this house since 2012 and this is the first time, they have reached me at home - quite the urgent work.. anyway, i was home on saturday morning and around 10am, there was a knock.

i had a feeling it would be them.

Giles Gray

Being challenged when i was door knocking is one of the factors why i left. The guy just hit me with clear logic that put a huge maggot in my mind.

I think challenging JWs is of vital importance and has considerable success.

30

Exit therapist

by Beachlover in

jw
friends

i am having quite a bit of trouble leaving and fading.

does anyone have recommendations of an exit therapist?

it doesn't matter where they are located, i need to get out physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Giles Gray

"it certainly isn't appropriate to spew that nonsense"

What does Perry say that isn't 'spewing nonsense'?

I've never known so much verbal vomit...

23

Young JW's attitudes

by Phizzy in

i met an old friend last evening, a great guy, an xjw for longer than me.. during a conversation about our experiences since fading (neither of us are da'd or anything) we got to talking about the young jw's.. his wife is still in, and he has two lovely daughters who he is trying to teach the art of critical thinking so that they can make the right choice in the future.. what worries him though is that he is convinced almost all young jw's do not give a "proverbial" if it is the truth or not, they simply wish to remain in it because of the social aspects, loads of friends and activities that they feel safe partaking in etc etc.. so how do you convince these young people that they would have a better life if they left ?.

they see it as losing all their friends, and being alone and trying to build new relationships, which is mostly true.. how do we convince them to make the leap ?.

should they ?.

Giles Gray

The biggest thing taking out young people are their 'worldly' peers.

When their peers start to enjoy the freedoms that JWs are not entitled to, it magnifies how badly they are missing out. Many succumb to such normalities, or should I say 'peer pressure'.

This fact is a very good tool to use.